History of a Bad Spender, Part 1 of 5

In order to share my story effectively, I need to prepare a good foundation. Which means we need to dig deep into my life’s credit history.

I got my first credit card in 1990, shortly after I turned 18. The credit limit was $500, and I remember maxing it out almost instantly. I bought a leather jacket, boots, gas, and lunches & dinners for my friends.

I had a good job at the time, but I was not well-versed in personal finance. My checking account was frequently overdrawn and I repeatedly wrote bad checks. I also rarely made my credit card payments on time, if ever. I wanted to party, not pay bills.

In a three-year period, I had collected and maxed out a cornucopia of department store cards, and bank cards, then tried to consolidate them all into one payment by putting my car up as collateral for a loan. When I didn’t keep up with the loan payment, my car (which was no longer operational) was repossessed.

Due to a fluke at a local Indian casino (I hit a $5,000 jackpot), I was able to come up with money for a down payment on a nicer, more reliable car. My parents co-signed on the loan, and for the first time, I’d begun to consistently pay back debt. But, my dependency on credit was unshakable. As soon as my score would recover from a bad mark, I’d apply for, and usually receive, more credit. I was no match for pre-approval offers from the likes of Macy’s, Nordstrom, JC Penney, and even Neiman Marcus.

In 1996, I began the upward climb toward my downward spiral by opening a bank card in my mother’s name to (again) consolidate the debt that I’d racked up. But, I did so without her permission.

I took responsibility for the lapse in judgment and paid back every penny. I swore I’d never do something like that again, but as most can claim: history has proven to repeat itself.

My husband and I enjoyed a short period of credit bliss after we bought our first house in 2002. I still had some debt, but at the time, it was only around $8,000, and we were working diligently on paying it off.

But my desire to have nice shoes, clothes, and other “things” overpowered my desire to be debt-free. And, shortly after my first son was born, I began using credit cards again.

The most money my husband ever made was in 2003, when he earned a $24,000 year-end bonus. Unfortunately, we had to apply most of it to credit card debt. I’d told him that we had “paid it all off,” but it was not true. There were still other cards out there that I was hiding from him. I even opened up a PO Box near the office where I worked and had the statements sent there to avoid being caught.

I had a pretty bad eBay habit at the time, and not only did the PO Box serve as a refuge for hidden credit card statements, but it also provided me with a place to send items that I’d purchased online without him knowing. (I would later find out that this is a condition called, “Financial Infidelity.”)

And with that, the art and science of hiding debt from my husband was born.